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I usually shrug it off and head down for a blow job (which he loves), and he pops right back up again. I’m there ready to GO, and he is back to square one like a nervous virgin. He literally has developed some sort of last-second performance anxiety, right about when he puts the condom on. When he puts on the condom and gets ready to enter, he … wilts. We build up to it with hours of foreplay. Is there any way to get through this?īut since we got back together, and maybe a few times in the past, we have a problem. If he HAS to have it as part of his sex life, what should I do if I just can’t get into it? I don’t want him hiding things from me again, but I also don’t enjoy the idea of having sex while he’s wearing women’s lingerie. The way he talks about it, he makes it sound like cross-dressing is the only thing that gets him going sometimes. I’m all for exploring a kink, but I also feel like this is a desire I should have been told about since the start of our relationship. I got pretty upset by this, not because I think there’s anything wrong with him desiring cross-dressing, but because he now wants to make it part of our sex life even though it’s a complete turnoff for me. He’s been buying women’s lingerie since before we knew each other and has worn my underwear multiple times. Later that night, however, he decided to tell me that he has a compulsion to wear women’s underwear, and it excites him sexually more than anything. Well, a few days ago, I caught him in another lie, and I told him we were either going to see a marriage counselor or I was leaving. He’s also lied many times about the amount of time he spends masturbating (and watching porn), and I’ve felt like he’s constantly hiding something from me. We’ve fought about this many, many times, with him promising to change and leading to some “up” moments, only to be right back to the same issue a few weeks later. It has mostly involved what I thought was my husband’s fairly continuous masturbation while he is at home and I am at work (we work different schedules), which he says leaves him undesiring of sex with me when I get home. I love my husband, but throughout our five-year relationship, our sex life has had its ups and downs. I’m a woman in a heterosexual, monogamous marriage. I Have Determined I Will Not Have Sex With My Husband for Years I Tried to Sleep With My Roommate’s Partner. My Boyfriend Isn’t Like Other Guys in Bed.